I avoid the sheets,
awaiting a thrill
but it never comes
for a desperate soul.
I bleed the absence
of your failed spirit
and yearn to rebuild
the ghost you've left.
I dwell on the past
for I cannot know
where your heart went
or where you rest.
I feel you here
but I doubt afterlife
since my faith drowned
with you in that car.
I don't believe much
I scare myself
I rarely get excited
and I sit and drink.
I want to believe
in the love you professed
during the last hours
but I still question you.
I go crazy over you
still in in love
possessing tension
continuously one-sided.
I cannot breathe
I feel you around me
questioning my doubt
disappointed at jealousy.
Like a reflex
I know you loved me
but I cannot force
my mind to forget.
I question my worth.
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