I rest with your hoodie

His smile is my guardian through the night. I look over at that vast pillow, picture his resting head, and just wish some more. Why couldn't he stay? Why couldn't he stay in my arms? I would have lifted the world above his shoulders if I could. But I couldn't.

I just want to stare at his smiling face. I want to study every curve. I want to be there again, there in that bed stroking his freshly shaved head while he slept in a strange slumber.

I remember how you weren't there, how you were a shell. I remember sitting there, rubbing your temple while you opened your eyes briefly every so often. Without any words, you let me sit there and rest with you without question.

I remember the tears, but I don't want to. The last time I saw you, I studied the side of your face. I remember telling you to look at me. I remember those glistened eyes. And I hurt. I remember that vein in your head, while you spoke. I remember holding onto your shoulder, resting my lips onto your shirt like I knew it was the last time. I remember the bow, and a "Good luck." You then turned around and walked away.

"I love you Kristin, I always will," you later said. I will always remember those words, I will always remember that quote you gave me. "There was this woman," you repeated, "There was this woman, there was this man," and you were gone.