A Stranger

I can be the only one.
I can save myself
or let me go.

I am brutally trapped.
Between your world
and mine I try to create.

I endure the cycle.
Repeating the pain
who could ever tell.

I am all alone.
My head gets heavy
again it burdens guilt.

Anxiety turns numb.
Numb rips away care.
Care begins to bleed within.
Within her body she breaks.
Broken to the world.
The world sounds quiet.
Quiet until the sun rises.
The sun rises to reveal normalcy.
Normal lives endure.
Enduring is now last on her mind.
Her mind speaks of regret.
Regret plummets her to a hole so deep.
Deeper she submerges below surface.
The surface shows reminiscence of once was.
Was she ever going to let herself rise?

Torture

The dead skin piles chin high
too much rough pink to go around.
Wishing it were smooth as infant calm
but it remains jagged with each stuttered step.

The eyes droop dragging on the floor
lazy as a howling hound.
Hoping they might lift the next second
but hours pass while a zombie wishes.

The blemishes stain red
seeping through to the surface.
Dreaming of a day when they blend
into complexion of an absorbed sunny day.

The windpipe chokes on acid
savoring the poison it chases.
Searching for something to quench evil
bubbling at the bottom of guilt.

The heart fears abandonment
but it is already alone.
Leeching onto any hand with blood
yet refusing any thing with life.

The mind is heavy and numb
bearing all pain it can possibly muster.

losing flight

the crack is closing up
gradually leaving no space for myself to breathe
when will I decide that enough is enough
but there is a glimmer of light still
isn't that enough
not during those moments when the crack eases together
breaking all structure binding to its roots
the pain becomes overwhelming
and the bark breaks as the trunk caves in
leaving less and less room for light to shine through

"HOPE FLOATS"

Chances are I will frown until morning light,
until my dreams are never met.
Chances are I will bleed onto here,
and never dare to speak of my fears.

Chances are this will be a silent cry,
no one will beg for the truth.
Chances are my branches will fall,
and the rain will pick up without stall.

Chances are the seasons won't change,
a grand cycle of memories to never fade.
Chances are I will not want to let go,
with nobody to understand why I refuse to grow.

Chances are I will still get angry,
to him as I bleed alone feeling robbed.
Chances are I will talk back to others,
who speak of my worth like a repeated song.

Chances are I will drown myself,
in protecting your spirit and our love.
Chances are like it was before,
I will get to a point where I cannot take this anymore.


CHANCES ARE-- BOB SEGER & MARTINA MCBRIDE
"All the rules of logic don't apply
I long to see you in the night
Be with you 'til morning light

I remember clearly how you looked
The night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me
Feel so at ease
I remember all your grace and your style

And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me

Chances are I'll see you
In my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've ever met"

Release

Demons invade the lump on the cushions;
once the fluorescent light encompasses her whole,
the grapes ferment even further inside the veins
creating fusion combining fabric and soul.

The melody persists to push her down;
she doesn't mind the sappy slashes to her heart--
it already whimpers to the stars
hoping he will return to mend the part.

But time ticks away despite her wading;
she continues to tread without feeling,
too lazy to dry off her life deprivation
while kneeling for an approval on motivation.

She feels too much and does too little;
she simply feels chaos expanding her bones,
furious at failure and engulfing emotions,
yearning to inhale the love that didn't need any reasons.

Today, another day

I simply miss you. Days utterly go by, piercing time into my heart. How has it been a year since I have looked into your eyes? I hate straining to see your face behind mine. I swore I felt you today, so many tickles to the neck; a brush here, a brush there. After peaking around my back, I wondered what I was searching for. I am still crazy for you; you still give me chills within the passion trails through those memories. Without control, you come into my mind every time it starts to settle its waves. "There is no time line," my therapist says. But how do I escape the fear of time monopolizing on my footsteps? I continue to stand still, too scared to miss what is now never a possibility, too scared to open the door and step foot outside where you are no longer. Our story cannot be experienced by any but our own. And our own, is my own to carry. To have one love of your life is a fairytale, to know I will forever have two, is an unprecedented blessing.

My World

Look at her over there,
standing so low underneath solemn light
caressing her spine peaking out.

Is that a tear I see?
I think it splashed the concrete
awakening the vast tunnel behind her.

Her profile is so depressing;
she is a motionless noodle
slinking below the ground.

What is she doing on the floor?
She must enjoy cuddling with dirt,
twirling her fingers with a close friend.

Her dress is all messy,
the white is blurring to black
erasing innocence within the stitches.

Where did she go?
Whispering 'hello' to the tunnel,
the echo answers the child.