The crutches I place on others
is self destructing my legs in order to move,
I cannot learn to live on my own,
I cannot separate yesterday from today,
I cannot treat today as no other.

One day I will see,
how I spent this time worrying
on someone not worrying about me.

Building Blocks

I’m starting to learn it wasn’t God’s fault you died,
it wasn’t the relationship that you threw away as trash,
it wasn’t the phone call that turned deadly with poison,
it had everything to do with one who could no longer reason.

No more a life that would restore,
no more a heart that bled compassion,
as it couldn’t bare the weight non existent,
for the stones pelted wounded the resilient.

The blood oozed and caved a soul,
trickling on the inside creating mystique,
as all eyes gazed upon a transcendent heart
that would conquer the battle it wanted to start.

But that’s how tragedies unfold,
they punch you in the gut with unexpected twists,
and churn the toxic elements within,
creating the answer as the most illogical sin.

Leaving all who held hope
to a long path grinding at their insides,
that could only amount to resurrecting faith,
building back the ground that ruptured grace.

The Remnants are Gone

I could pound the metal to oblivion,
feel the muddy shards land upon my cheeks,
a foreign material from those salty raindrops,
but it still doesn’t stop every leak.

With your face I find it pours cement,
drizzling upon mine into stationary,
where I revert to losing my place,
as if I don’t have something more to chase.

But this duplex is now empty,
which means I have surpassed it all,
I have conquered the utterly quiet nights,
the desperate calls that start fights.

I am on the brink to lose you in the rubble,
where I've drilled you into the old soil,
I’ve stuck you where you belong,
and no longer find you in every song.

Though I thought I could start clean without the black,
I know you were the black that brought me here,
the Hell I knew within those sheets,
the smudges where my eyelids meet.

But your time is absolutely finished,
in the chest you chose to bury,
and in my mind where I kept you alive
while I took on your spirit to revive.

I am no longer captive,
As I do not deserve that loneliness,
I do not deserve the brittle bones I saw as the End,
and I know I am a survivor more than I can comprehend.

Only You

I've got this;

In my hands I portray strength

As I come out of the damp grave,

Brush off my feet and be brave.

Cause I'm gonna soar free,

Free from all this black smoke

And set foot with a clean sense

That I have taken my first leap over the fence.

I will walk and soon gallop,

As I savor the sun upon my cheeks;

I see that the power beyond those clouds

Has given me a voice so loud.

I will bellow to the world below

That you have seen me at my worst,

Where I reach for the wrong thing

And I savor what will only sting.

You've seen my hands bloody,

My nervous ticks that evade my every function,

That rip apart the peace in my heart

And leave me for dead,

Back to start.

You've seen my over zealous tastes,

Quenching for a thirst that will never satisfy

Or grant me contentment,

For it shall only promise such burrowing resentment.

You've heard my thoughts that race,

Sweating at the words that transcend thru all minds but my own,

Sending the tides in to crash 

And break every rock built with grace from the past.

You've seen my darkest ideas,

To rid what you've given me,

And yet after all of this,

Life still keeps ticking

Because the worst is still worth living,

And with you,

It's only the beginning.

The Power Within, The Power Given

Just as the power of love dictates your mind,

Blinding you from any other soul

And shackling your feet to the ground,

You feel no other choice so profound.

Just as a tumor invades a brain,

Spreading like blood oozes from a wound,

Covering every inch like a demonic hand,

Spreading toxins wherever it wants to  land.

Nothing is real in this world,

Only evil to which your words have painted,

And only such thoughts could ever grant your limbs to move;

You'd be truly blessed to never lose.

As if sight weren't an option,

Where your skin is a shield to love,

You can't even grasp the truest actions,

Or even hear beauty in any fashion.

It's a love for darkness,

Where you've forgotten your roots

Or even simply how to walk;

Because you've learned what to count on,

And that's living for what is gone.

But it's that one glimpse,

That one sliver of light that makes you detach from the couch,

From literally being paralyzed,

That you finally are blessed with such strength,

To simply not know what it's like to want death at any length.

It's the beauty of blessings,

Of the armor you've been granted,

To repel any black coasting through your veins,

And giving you back Life to ride with full reign.