Out in the Cold

I sit at the bottom of the rope again,
eager to find the sturdiest strand
or maybe ask the ones who’ve left for a prop
because what’s the big deal if I drop?

I continue to strain every muscle,
grasping into dead air—
between me and all who has quit
searching for an embarrassment to fit.

I’ve tried them all on,
wasted months and years
trying to find an face ugly enough
for a grave that won’t be strong enough.

Either I’ll bask in the last patient few
or take the option to speed off,
stop reaching for an impossible climb,
and pivot my feet for a better rhyme.

I’ll let those ones dissipate,
grab on a little less
and learn how to let things fold
as its fate pushing me into another mold.

Afflicted

i curse whatever poison causes this,
i scorn the ceiling as if the finger shouldn’t point at me—
because its easier to deal with that direction
since that culprit has no resurrection.

they’ve gone to haunted ground,
black and pure as the devil,
warranting a revolution from what started as sane
and nothing but blue comes from this game.

and once again I am the victim,
i am the one who throws a tantrum and cries ‘boo hoo’—
the one who has nothing but a story
for an excuse that will never hold glory.

i’ll tell myself I’m the one dealing with the absence of love,
the loss of a ‘good thing’ that never gets better,
the one who knows how the sound of death vibrates
so why wouldn’t I retreat and castrate?

damn you for digging the hole,
for meeting me at all—
i could still be the child I once was,
living with love in my heart
where you and I never start.

poor, poor me who witnessed it all,
but never quite ‘got over’ that call—
because after a simple savor of that blend,
my tongue sweats for the search to end.

i ravish the idea of pinching the dream,
or reveling in the cause granting me steel—
but either way my brain keeps the fog close
and my heart’s desires merely continue to pose.

Feathers

If I could just rip open my chest,

Release the butterflies—

I would soar over this chair,

Never look back,

Or live blank in a stare.

I would ooze—

See all that is pent up

Travel out of its cage

And revel at how long

I wandered that maze.

The screens would vanish

And the voidance of reality

Wouldn’t be a sermon In my ears,

But forever a line I crossed

In order to live past what I’ve lost.

It’s always time for a change,

But it’s never on the agenda for today,

I want to walk out that door

And never live a minute

Where I forget the need to explore.

Not Anymore

Death is not a trigger,
It cannot pull me from the toes,
bleed out the body I own
that I have evermore grown.

Death cannot dismiss the aches,
of which I've endured,
tightening the muscles to my bones
that have not shattered or moaned.

Death will not control,
I can use the breath I choose to keep,
select a route for my feet to take
and accept the reality that comes from fate.


Death cannot suffocate,
red can surface and my blood can boil,
but the peace I have found
will help me come above ground.

Death is not the end,
It is the beginning of my freedom,
chains have rusted and disappeared
and my stance is now with a spear.

Truth Hurts

Love is on the scene,

A crime no person can understand,

But a chase everyone is willing

To wrap their head around.

I waver from gripping for a companion,

To ridiculing all who hold hands,

But deeply I just want that connection 

And for my beauty to be a loud resurrection.

I've talked to god,

And I've seen myself rise,

With or without the pursuit of death,

I believe my soul will have another breath.

I am stronger than you

And I know I will be granted another love,

I am meant to bleed passion,

And I'm styling my hair

ready for another fashion.

Today's Love

Traveling through the spirals of trials,spending time with souls who are lost,
I have vowed to stop running
because guidance is not coming.

Speeding through the clouds,
looking for a guarantee that love will come,
patience is a painful sunset
And I can't muster to wait and reset.

So I leech upon all travelers,
asking each to grant me the miracle I eagerly chase
where I find another to envelope me,
blending their soul into mine for eternity.

I ask to become worthy in each eye upon mine,
have it replace the search I have in store,
and immediately know the journey is complete;
Where I don't have to walk this street alone in the heat.

Otherwise the pressure would build at the soles of my feet,
the rocks burning every etch created,
I would start to bleed and beg to be saved
and there would be no soul to watch over my grave.