Silly Goose

Remember those mornings in the dark?
When you would whisper "hey" with a grin,
bounce the bed
and kiss me goodbye once you saw my eyes.

Remember those nights with your backpack?
When you would gallop down the stairs,
glance at the TV with awe
and pick my feet off the floor for a hug.

Remember those drives in the Olds?
When we would talk about random,
sometimes heated topics,
and you would listen so carefully.

Remember those scandalous urges?
When you would just give me that look,
with a daring touch
and all the noises around silenced.

Remember those games of the past?
When you would thrill on a quiet night,
with a little competition
and you'd have to keep score to be precise.

Remember those songs we would share?
When you would ask for a title,
tell me I should download it
and instantly it'd be on repeat through the night.

Remember hiding those blue lights?
When you would find only light distracting,
not the fan in winter,
or even the continuous airwaves from the speakers.

Remember those sheets I would steal?
When you would shiver in the morning,
ask for more blanket
and nuzzle your nose against the back of my neck.

Remember that storm in the Dells?
When I feared the trash can,
you braved the roads
and we left before getting stuck in Wisconsin.

Remember those showers together?
When you would kiss me when I rinsed,
turn off the light
and peak back in with a smile.

Remember those chases in the hall?
When you would lead the way,
tickle me if I got close
and jump in the bed to wrestle and laugh.

Remember those midnight treats?
When you would serve me,
tease me with the plate
and get in to bed with a sigh of satisfaction.

Remember those "I love yous"?
When you would get my attention,
just look at me,
and smile to say "I love you."

...

You still have my heart.

The Villian

You punch down my motivation while I stumble for the light. Already bloody, you stretch my wounds to see the river below me turn a solid red. I swim because that is all I know how to do. But you aren't satisfied; you take a lighter and pierce the strands on my head to ignite a mind that is trying to calm down. Once a reasonable pressure, is now caving in on my soul. Cracking at each temple, my bones burst into pieces. Once a promising puzzle, is now shattered into a million spectacles that remain slivers of hope that once was.

Still slivers of light, there lies a man once in a dark corner. Light reveals a heart still unsatisfied as his head shakes to the ground. In between the hiccups of rain, he tries to smirk at another person's pain. But no longer can he see the prevailing pain, for it has now dissipated in the red river. A poor shame; a black heart can't witness another heart breaking. Instead the glimmering pieces unveil a hollow heart in his own chest.

A Dream

The promenading doors unfold smiles,
like each piece of glitter in the sky,
the white glimmers for miles.

My foot anxiously steps forward,
erasing the distance from me to you-
the lace flows easily as I choose.

I choose you my one,
as those creases meet your cheekbones,
that smile spreads light through the stained glass
and into my heart sending warm chills that won't pass.

With my arm locked to safety,
I look to my left with ease
for this day will be a fresh breeze.

Finally I can breathe,
inhaling for a rush of peace-
my home is right down the aisle
in just one piece.

Fitting together,
we have dreamt about this day-
the yellow stripe down your leg,
the grin on the DJ,
a familiar face.

Children are dancing
to the beat you create,
with the sweat seeping through the tux,
your shirt gets untucked.

At our house nothing surrounds us
but the grass and quiet summer nights-
with a brilliant glow in sight,
others gaze in through the window
to stare at what is right.

One man is rolling around on the floor
with his children,
painful laughter sends them to rest-
as one woman smiles to the beat in her chest.

There was this woman,
lying next to this man-
with one palm on his chest,
she knew the rest.

Wish I could tell you...and the list goes on

Big Jims is cupped in my palm.
Gary Allan is weaving through my ears.
"Decorah Wrestling" is on my upper thigh.
And I look for the sparkle in the sky.

"It's Great to Be a Hawkeye" was at a bar and on a license plate.
That milk top still rests in my car.
Will Ferrel and Vince Vaughn were gagging.
And I wait to hear you laughing.

"King" is for "Kirk" while playing Terets.
Sweet mustaches are everywhere.
The songs "Notion" and "The Fixer" would be on repeat.
And I see you at the computer singing with a treat.

The nickname Hero is still on Hearts.
The second Flight of the Conchords released.
At work I shared an earbud.
And I feel your temple next to mine thud.

Went to Carl's Place and pictured the TP dress.
Somebody had uneven headphones too.
My mom made sugary sweet potatoes.
And I hear you chomping and saying its gross.

I scrub with the Irish Spring.
My co-worker has eczema.
Metcalf saved the Iowa vs Iowa State meet.
And I see you alternating and bouncing on your feet.

My mind won't stop

My heart is heavy,
carrying my eyes through the night
I bleed while trying to fight.

My lungs are charred,
burning from chasing breath
I get no time to rest.

My stomach is dizzy,
churning guilt into acid
I can't digest this facet.

My bones are hollow,
breaking slivers with each movement
I fall in an instant.

My back aches,
slumping through each slumber
I wish it were summer.

My memories flood,
trickling down my cheeks
I search for your warmth to make me complete.

You're not really gone

My mind chooses not to register
what has blatantly unfolded
during these last chapters
of a story so jaded.

That black and gold circle
has hushed their chant,
looking somberly towards the ground
I think resting place
and I start to pant.

That mat is lonely
without your familiar loud tone,
two figures wade back and forth
to make a strike,
those eyes piercing steadily,
and I think of a silent team
while feeling faint.

The veins in my hands pop,
sweaty, swollen fingertips
by my sides,
but that hand felt so cold to my lips,
making my stomach spin.

The Hawkeyes reign in our eyes,
bellowing the Fight song,
but piercing my ears
from the loneliest walk down that aisle,
I run in circles
leaving no time to think.

Because I can't think about
how love wasn't enough
or the call of a voice depleting
or the jolting faces upon family
or the hood as a shield
or that collective smell
or "There was this woman"
or Hesper Forever starting now.

I do love you--
I hope you knew,
I hope you can see,
I hope your heart healed.